Guntailtetti is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, selfish goat.

Guntailtetti created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guntailtetti, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Guntailtetti, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Guntailtetti's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Guntailtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Guntailtetti in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed bananas to squirrels while wearing violet jumpers.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Always pray immersed in water.