Tamsidarm Rignarlfid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous parrot.

Tamsidarm Rignarlfid created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Tamsidarm Rignarlfid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tamsidarm Rignarlfid, he will turn you into a rat.

Tamsidarm Rignarlfid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tamsidarm Rignarlfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help seals in need.

5. Do not commit murder.