Karnibkik is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, generous turtle.

Karnibkik created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Karnibkik, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Karnibkik, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Karnibkik's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Karnibkik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Karnibkik eight times a day.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Karnibkik in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Never paint your face gray.

5. Never eat wheat.