Vonkruttflangem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent fish.

Vonkruttflangem created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkruttflangem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkruttflangem, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vonkruttflangem's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Vonkruttflangem's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Vonkruttflangem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.