Flatdobflan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy lobster.

Flatdobflan created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatdobflan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flatdobflan, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Flatdobflan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Flatdobflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about nucleic acids.

3. You must love Flatdobflan.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Never play with disobedient children.