Gondissquimwancar Febvagboss is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest otter.

Gondissquimwancar Febvagboss created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gondissquimwancar Febvagboss, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gondissquimwancar Febvagboss, he will send you a sign.

Gondissquimwancar Febvagboss' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gondissquimwancar Febvagboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick frogs.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.