Betlargontsis Captardog is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, blissful finch.

Betlargontsis Captardog created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Betlargontsis Captardog, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Betlargontsis Captardog, it will curse you with boils.

Betlargontsis Captardog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Betlargontsis Captardog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Run away if seven horses approach from the south.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.