Veenquamlag is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unthoughtful gorilla.

Veenquamlag created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenquamlag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Veenquamlag, she will curse you with boils.

Veenquamlag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Veenquamlag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always obey Veenquamlag's priests.

4. Do not take Veenquamlag's name in vain.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.