Lagcuddum is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, vain dryad.

Lagcuddum created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lagcuddum, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lagcuddum, he will throw large rocks at you.

Lagcuddum's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Lagcuddum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Worship no other gods but Lagcuddum.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.