Gofdogxen is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy scorpion.

Gofdogxen created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gofdogxen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gofdogxen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gofdogxen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gofdogxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Never run near ants.

3. Never think about special relativity near dolphins while wearing blue shorts and balancing six lead spheres on your back.

4. Never wear purple stockings.

5. Do not chop down trees.