Vanvidhub is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous gerbil.

Vanvidhub created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Vanvidhub, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Vanvidhub, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vanvidhub's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Vanvidhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always help porpoises.

3. Never paint your hands cyan.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.