Mipratvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, sage grasshopper.

Mipratvonk created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipratvonk, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mipratvonk, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Mipratvonk's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Mipratvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silicon sculptures of Mipratvonk on top of important buildings.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not drink alcohol.