Mipwotcatgut is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid duck.

Mipwotcatgut created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mipwotcatgut, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mipwotcatgut, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Mipwotcatgut's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Mipwotcatgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Retreat if nine turtles approach from the west.