Sakgadbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, all-knowing mole.

Sakgadbonk created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakgadbonk, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sakgadbonk, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sakgadbonk's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sakgadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of onions to swans while wearing orange shorts.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not eat bread.

5. Put Sakgadbonk first in all things.