Sagtifbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless manatee.

Sagtifbeg created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sagtifbeg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sagtifbeg, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sagtifbeg's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Sagtifbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of aubergines to sharks while wearing black skirts.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Sagtifbeg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about galaxies.