Gatgepnan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, deceitful wren.

Gatgepnan created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatgepnan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gatgepnan, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gatgepnan's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gatgepnan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near cats while wearing red shoes.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.