Yammapster is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring tortoise.

Yammapster created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yammapster, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yammapster, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yammapster's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yammapster's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing gray boots.