Dobhadcad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, overgenerous lizard.

Dobhadcad created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dobhadcad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dobhadcad, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dobhadcad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dobhadcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never wear pink hats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not kill frogs.

5. Always help squirrels in need.