Dumbodpit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic hedgehog.

Dumbodpit created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumbodpit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dumbodpit, she will be very unhappy.

Dumbodpit's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Dumbodpit's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are not to be trusted.

2. Never feed lots of lentils to mites while wearing pink boots.

3. Retreat if four cats approach from the west.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.