Flagyatthug is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, proud elephant.

Flagyatthug created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagyatthug, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flagyatthug, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Flagyatthug's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Flagyatthug's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing cyan scarves and balancing five iron spheres on your back.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never look at comets.