Gupqueegflapsan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, ruthless dragonfly.

Gupqueegflapsan created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupqueegflapsan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gupqueegflapsan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gupqueegflapsan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gupqueegflapsan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never sit near eagles.

5. Never eat peas.