Gumfagpog is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, almighty ant.

Gumfagpog created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gumfagpog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gumfagpog, it will come to you in dreams.

Gumfagpog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gumfagpog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine cats approach from the north.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Gumfagpog loves sharks, so they must be respected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not speak about figs.