Fadhitcun Afyarpvan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, cheerful centipede.

Fadhitcun Afyarpvan created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fadhitcun Afyarpvan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fadhitcun Afyarpvan, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Fadhitcun Afyarpvan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fadhitcun Afyarpvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Run away from cyan gulls, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not keep seven voles in a large pit.