Cudyatvil Ratyatlap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, wise owl.

Cudyatvil Ratyatlap created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Cudyatvil Ratyatlap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cudyatvil Ratyatlap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Cudyatvil Ratyatlap's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cudyatvil Ratyatlap's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing violet kilts and balancing five titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Cudyatvil Ratyatlap loves birds, so they must be honoured.