Gatsabkom is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, thoughtless wren.

Gatsabkom created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatsabkom, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gatsabkom, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gatsabkom's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gatsabkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Never sing in the presence of voles.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.