Genyarldad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, conceited clam.

Genyarldad created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genyarldad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Genyarldad, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Genyarldad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Genyarldad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Genyarldad four times a day.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Genyarldad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.