Xen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, annoying snail.

Xen created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xen, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Xen's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Xen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Run away from black grasshopers, for they are unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Xen.