Yamfidlophogmonsugquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, ruthless penguin.

Yamfidlophogmonsugquam created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfidlophogmonsugquam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yamfidlophogmonsugquam, she will turn you into a tree.

Yamfidlophogmonsugquam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Yamfidlophogmonsugquam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Hide if seven snakes approach from the north.

3. Never think ill of sick moths.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.