Kopmatlid is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy swan.

Kopmatlid created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopmatlid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kopmatlid, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kopmatlid's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kopmatlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Run away if four rats approach from the east.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.