Jipbitfit is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omniscient guinea pig.

Jipbitfit created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipbitfit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jipbitfit, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jipbitfit's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jipbitfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always obey Jipbitfit's priests.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about dark matter near voles while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing five silver spheres on your arms.

5. Never pour water over plants.