Bifquillgod is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omniscient manatee.

Bifquillgod created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bifquillgod, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bifquillgod, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bifquillgod's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bifquillgod's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.