Zencaplun is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered dragonfly.

Zencaplun created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zencaplun, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zencaplun, he will jump up and down on your head.

Zencaplun's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zencaplun's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never think about dark energy near monkeys while wearing fawn coats and balancing eight lead spheres on your chest.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never laugh near mice.