Kabtadzak Zaktigstip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, contented clam.

Kabtadzak Zaktigstip created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabtadzak Zaktigstip, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabtadzak Zaktigstip, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kabtadzak Zaktigstip's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kabtadzak Zaktigstip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet great tits for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kabtadzak Zaktigstip.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kabtadzak Zaktigstip.

5. Do not take Kabtadzak Zaktigstip's name in vain.