Tunbonkjan is a god.
It takes the form of an extremely small, boastful
cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.
Tunbonkjan created a bottom quark two billion years ago.
If you believe in
Tunbonkjan, it will look on you favourably.
If you do not believe in
Tunbonkjan, it will say rude things about you at parties.
Tunbonkjan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.
Tunbonkjan's Holy Commandments1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.
2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.
3. Always take life seriously.
4. Always pray in complete darkness.
5. Do not stand on grass.