Nuttapptarp Omtfassig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, compassionate horse.

Nuttapptarp Omtfassig created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttapptarp Omtfassig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuttapptarp Omtfassig, it will turn you into a rat.

Nuttapptarp Omtfassig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Nuttapptarp Omtfassig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never feed cherries to rats while wearing stockings.

3. Do not hurt dogs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed beans to snakes while wearing black kilts.