Wapsugvog is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, quiet lobster.

Wapsugvog created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapsugvog, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wapsugvog, she will send minions to preach to you.

Wapsugvog's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Wapsugvog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three frogs approach from the south.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help swans in need.

5. Do not speak about beans.