Jinloopcub is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, temperamental jaguar.

Jinloopcub created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinloopcub, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jinloopcub, she will remove you from existence.

Jinloopcub's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jinloopcub's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green seals for they are unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Always help tortoises.

5. You must never eat bananas.