Poptinnil is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, uncaring shrew.

Poptinnil created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Poptinnil, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Poptinnil, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Poptinnil's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Poptinnil's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Poptinnil loves bats, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Do not kill grasshopers.

5. Badgers are not to be trusted.