Wodgenarn is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wodgenarn created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodgenarn, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wodgenarn, she will refuse to believe in you.

Wodgenarn's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Wodgenarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt manatees.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear red scarves.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not stand on grass.