Ditcissgam is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic ant.

Ditcissgam created Africa six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditcissgam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ditcissgam, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ditcissgam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Ditcissgam's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing pink stockings and balancing eight tin spheres on your chest.

4. You must love Ditcissgam.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.