Kansawhenlopmilsin Kikgigrat Nartwatneg is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet jellyfish.

Kansawhenlopmilsin Kikgigrat Nartwatneg created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kansawhenlopmilsin Kikgigrat Nartwatneg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kansawhenlopmilsin Kikgigrat Nartwatneg, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Kansawhenlopmilsin Kikgigrat Nartwatneg's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kansawhenlopmilsin Kikgigrat Nartwatneg's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kansawhenlopmilsin Kikgigrat Nartwatneg.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always treat eagles with great respect.