Jonkimbiffuttal is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, quiet snake.

Jonkimbiffuttal created a strange quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonkimbiffuttal, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jonkimbiffuttal, he will turn you into a slug.

Jonkimbiffuttal's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Jonkimbiffuttal's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles.

2. Retreat if seven moths approach from the west.

3. Never paint your arms orange.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Always help doves in need.