Lattimyamwat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, uncaring gnu.

Lattimyamwat created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lattimyamwat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lattimyamwat, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Lattimyamwat's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lattimyamwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Always help capybaras in need.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.