Sidlunbepfut is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty newt.

Sidlunbepfut created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidlunbepfut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sidlunbepfut, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Sidlunbepfut's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sidlunbepfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help manatees.

3. Never paint your back white.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. Never play with disobedient children.