Mapstanmigfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic cow.

Mapstanmigfeb created light two years ago.

If you believe in Mapstanmigfeb, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mapstanmigfeb, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Mapstanmigfeb's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Mapstanmigfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. You must pray to Mapstanmigfeb six times a day.