Armlatqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonest eagle.

Armlatqueeg created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armlatqueeg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Armlatqueeg, he will turn you into a mouse.

Armlatqueeg's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Armlatqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about galaxies.