Gadlabcumjap is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent hamster.

Gadlabcumjap created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadlabcumjap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadlabcumjap, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gadlabcumjap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gadlabcumjap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to pigs while wearing black coats.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed beans to whales while wearing shirts.

5. Put Gadlabcumjap first in all things.