Weeshavbam is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, emotional jaguar.

Weeshavbam created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Weeshavbam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Weeshavbam, she will ignore you.

Weeshavbam's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Weeshavbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing brown ear rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your chest.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.