Tafdodjon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered scorpion.

Tafdodjon created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Tafdodjon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tafdodjon, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tafdodjon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tafdodjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Never think ill of sick pigs.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tafdodjon.