Podbarnhon is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm yak.

Podbarnhon created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Podbarnhon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Podbarnhon, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Podbarnhon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Podbarnhon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never mention birds.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Do not speak about onions.